The good book says out of all the people who have ever lived on earth, there are going to be more people in hell than out of it. I believe this wholeheartedly. Human beings do the freakiest sh*t and you’ll just be there thinking yeah, there’s definitely a special place in hell for you! There are obvious things that people do and normal human beings wish them eternal damnation, burning in hell. Things like human rights abuses, selfish leaders that cause untold suffering and those that destroy our environment. But, there are other things, certainly not as serious, but still annoying as f*ck, where you find yourself mumbling “there’s a special place in hell for you and your ilk”! If you’re a driver, I’m sure you say this at least five times a day, especially if you have to navigate the streets of Harare. As far as I’m concerned, hell has a little corner decked out especially for the following people:
1. Drivers that suddenly increase their speed when you’re trying to overtake them.
2. Drivers who periodically step on their brakes for absolutely NO reason.
3. All combi and mshika-shika drivers.
4. People who sneeze and cough without covering their mouths.
5. People who spit and urinate all over the place. Like, hold that sh*t in please.
6.People who litter everywhere. I mean HOW do you feel ok throwing fruit peels, bottles or anything really out your car window? HOW?
7. People who just touch you. Like ewww, why? Don’t touch me or my hair without permission. Please.
8. Hair-dressers who tell you they can do something and then produce horrific results. Same with tailors.
9. People who don’t dry their hands properly after using the bathroom and subsequently leave their wet paw prints on door handles. Ewww, just ewww.
10. People who pay you a visit before 10 a.m. and after 4 p.m. Especially without calling first.
I know you all have some candidates for hell to add to this list. Keep the list going in the comments section below!